okay so i've been avoiding my blog and when i do write, it's completely shallow random stuff. like i'm trying to be all cutesy or whatever and gain people's approval. like am i still in highschool or something??
i've been avoiding something, or someONE lately.
none other than the all-powerful, all-loving God.
pretty dumb to avoid Him, isn't it?
yeah, i know.
just sometimes i can't help it.
it's like i'll get really close to God and then all of a sudden without a single warning, my brain and heart go into auto pilot and i don't feel anything anymore. i don't feel the need to spend time with friends, i don't feel the need to be nice to my family, i don't feel the need to be with just my boyfriend when there are other guys out there, and i don't feel the need to spend my life pleasing a God i've never physically seen.
wow. did i just write that?
i'm human, i guess.
i hate auto-pilot.
so if you read this blog, if you love Jesus... can you pray for me? i don't want to be in auto-pilot. i don't want to just go through life without really living it.
there. i was real again.
ugly, but real.
Oh, this is EXACTLY EXACTLY EXACTLY how I feel. Did I mention exactly how I feel?
ReplyDeleteLet's pray for each other?
Yep, I'm praying. No one is on the straight & narrow all the time - we fall off through circumstances, trials, temptations, sin, low spots, reasons we can't always explain...That's why Jesus died because we weren't & aren't perfect & sometimes we look & act ugly...I know I do. I thank God so much for His patience & unfailing love - just because we are unfaithful at times doesn't mean He ever is. I know how you feel, cause I know how it feels to need an ocean of mercy, to feel like God is not present, & to feel ugly. Thank God He is always present & that He still loves, still has a plan, & doesn't change or fail. I hope you remember that & that I'm praying for you.
ReplyDelete-Bess-
Thank you very much, Bess :)
ReplyDeleteI love how God uses this blog to show me how much he loves me... that he sends different people i never would have been able to share my heart with to commit to praying for me.. it's pretty awesome. thank you!
and yes amber!! i promise to pray for you and you pray for me :) deal lol