so i have a brother.
i guess you can call him that.
i don't know, i always thought that brothers were supposed to be these loving, fun, people in your life that you want to spend time with every now and then. i actually have two brothers. they are kind of more like complete strangers. yeah, that's a better description.
i have no idea how to communicate with them.
and one lives in my house.
they are my half brothers, and we didn't grow up together. i used to feel okay about them when i was little. you know, young and naive... can't wait for my brothers to visit! now i dread it. i dread having to spend "quality time" with them. that's one thing i hate about growing up... ignorance and innocence, they really can be bliss.
you see, i have to take my brother that's living at home to the dentist tomorrow. wouldn't be too bad except for his dentist is in cordele, ga. yeah, a 45 minute drive. actually you add that up and it's 90. what the heck am i going to talk with him about. i'm so nervous.
he used to be a drug addict. and that's an understatement.
now he wants to be a preacher.
i really am proud and excited for his new life he feels called to, it's just that he's still sooooo weird at home! he walks around mumbling all these things and singing random stuff, especially when i have guests over and they just laugh. outside i laugh with them. inside i'm embarrassed and disgusted. no one really knows, what went on with him except those who inhabited in this house. but it was scary stuff. stuff i'm not even allowed to tell some people.
i think i'm scared to get to know him.
like what if i let my guard down, get close with him, and he goes back to all the old stuff. is he worthy of trust? are there really such things as a millionth chance?
i sound like such a hypocrite.. okay, i know.
but this is just hard.
i don't want to take him.
ughhh.
better get some sleep i guess, have to wake up bright and early. maybe he'll sleep in the car
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