"what's the point of all this if you're not gonna let this change you.."
how am i gonna make a difference?
what am i going to do with my life to make God glorified in me?
those questions have been looming in my mind ever since graduation.
i try and then i get scared of rejection so i pull back.
that also seems to be a trend that i'm not too fond of in my life.
how am i gonna make a difference with this fear stuck in my head? how am i ever gonna glorify God if i'm too scared to even try? what's the point of all of this if i'm gonna do nothing about it? why am i so scared?
i'm terrified.
i'm scared that i'm going to make a wrong decision and waste my life away on something when God had something better for me in store. i'm so scared of screwing it up. i'm constantly wondering if i'm doing the right thing with my life. if i'm making the right decisions. there are so many things to do, so many people to help, and so many organizations to get involved with. it hurts my mind thinking about all of the different stuff i could do. this journey is making me very weary. i don't know what to do.
that quote from the movie "to save a life" is haunting me.
this isn't for me. i have to trust God. but that's easier said than done.
and how stupid is that? that i can't even trust the God of the universe! the creator of all freaking things. am i allowed to say that? oh geez, i don't even know. i'm just not willing to settle. God has lit a fire in my heart to do something drastic. i can't back down, you know? i mean, you really can't say no to the ultimate authority over everything. nor do i want to. although sometimes i think i do. idk.
if you read this, do you have any thoughts? any answer to my questions?
what do i do?
I believe fear is satan. he wants you to be afraid so then you cannot glorify God. Just remember that at our darkest time is when He does the most work in us and through us. So making mistakes(He takes the bad and uses it for our good Romans 8 :28) along the way will be able to mold us into the image of Jesus. Put your Faith in Him and know doing something for others is better than doing nothing. I need to take this advice too! Here is a verse I hold close to my heart when worry, doubt or uncertainty breathes into me.
ReplyDeleteFinally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable... think of these things. Philippians 4:8
One more thing, I truly believe if we pray, He will answer. Even if we are uncertain or do not see the 'big' picture or outcome, He does. Trust Him.
I will be praying for you.